How to Choose Between Friends and Family6 min read

Ever been confused about a difference of opinion. Especially, when the difference is caused in-between your friends and family and yourself. You are often stuck between these situations in your twenties. I know this because I’m literally experiencing it myself and decision-making does become a pain in the ass. So, what’s the possible solution? Is it friends or family? Experience says that it can’t be both. If you are in your twenties then just read on.

The approach to understanding this concept is a bit of hassle because you must learn to make a clear distinction between your life goals and the glimmers that will come your way. Once you know what you want then you will start to accept the advice which might be fruitful to you and reject which is not.

In this article, by family, I just mean your parents, grandparents and siblings because only they can think of you without getting influenced by the negative emotions. They are the ones who will always back you in your endeavours.

Your situation may or may not be different but this is what happens in our lives. Our parents can never think anything bad for their own children (overlooking the exceptions).

And by friends, I mean the one who is always with you and knows better of you. The one who makes you think special in every way possible. The one who gives you the strength to face anything and most importantly the one who will say you NO straight on the face if he/she thinks that it can affect you in a bad way and do have an explanation to back it up. I’m sure you will have someone with you, and if your answer is NO, then keep looking. You will surely find one.

The Way Family Thinks Of You


The first thing that comes along with family is the CARE. Family cares too much and you all will agree.

Do you belong to an Indian Family? Perhaps, you will know how caring your parents are. They start to take your life decisions because they think they have been through the same path and can help you avoid the pitfalls. They get too much involved in your life, thus, they forget that it’s not their life to live.

In India, you are bound to live with your parents till the age of 20 at least. That’s like the first Quarter of your life, and throughout the quarter, you are bound to live with rules of the family, which is a good thing to a certain extent. But more the bounding lesser is the growth.

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You Will Always Be Their Baby

You will always be their Baby. Whatever you do, you cannot escape it. They will always think of you as a small baby and will try to help you in every way possible (even if it is not required). Personally, I do enjoy it to some extent but then they start sharing it with your friends 😀 :D. They can really embarrass you at times.

Emotions drive their way of thinking and this could be a big plus when putting alongside the logic.

Emotional side can really make you strong, plus, it can motivate you to give your 100%. You must also learn that each person in your family will think differently from other but the root will be emotions driving their decisions. For example- Mother could show you all the negative sides of taking a decision because she is too much caring at times, on the other hand, Father will give you a more logical approach but the driving force will be emotions. Let’s take a look how friends think of you.

How Friends Thinks Of You

friends problem solver

Most of your twenties time is spent with your friends (study shows). This period in your life is very important, you have to take decisions which will mould your life in a way you want. Friends play a vital role in this period. If you find your best bud in this time, which most of us do actually, then you will find yourself in a place which is very awesome and things will start to fall in the right place.

Friends are partners in crime. You do every mischief, every evil, every wrong with them. And it is a great part of your life in growing up and getting mature. Friends don’t see you as a family but as a partner and the one, they can rely on in every way possible. Sometimes, they become bigger than family. There are no restrictions when you are with them. The world becomes your playground.

You do things which you would have never ever imagined doing alone. Share stuff with them, no matter how personal it is. You can even share personal stuff which you cannot share with your family, and you know what I mean.

How Friends Are Made…

You become friends with someone because there is something about you and your friend that intimidate you. It could be anything, it could be a habit, emotions, craziness? anything and this is automatic. You cannot control this thing if a person is meant to be your friend, he/she will. Once you become friends and start talking and sharing, you tend to develop a bond which is done in the background. Your friends start to learn your habits and behaviour and could actually guess your lifestyle. They are like the extended versions of yourself.

They think pretty much the way you think. It is like they are your wide angle lens to view the world around you. So, they can really help you in taking some of the most important life decisions. Because they think pretty much in a way you do, they are logical and emotional as well. They don’t care about you losing as long as you are winning. Which means if you have a series of good luck and success in your way then they would stop thinking about the negative side of the story which is just the opposite the way your family thinks of you. They can actually help you to discover the hidden opportunities and makes the decision-making smooth.

Friends have not lived the life already and are in the same boat you are. They are pretty much fearless most of the times.

Combining Both the Sides Together

If you have to take an important decision go talk to your family about it. They will give you 1000 ways of what could go wrong and what are all the pitfalls that you may experience in making such a decision. You will start to see everything clearly why you shouldn’t take this decision and if you make this decision what are all the things that you must avoid. On the other hand, if you go talk to your friends about the same thing, they will bombard you will 1000s of funny outcomes and for a moment, you will actually forget about all the negative thoughts. In fact, you will find many new ways to look at the same thing. This is what friends do?

Like the post? Do share it with your friends and family. Do you have anything to say, shoot it in the comments section below.

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  • Article By: Varun Shrivastava

  • Varun Shrivastava is an innovative Full Stack Developer at ThoughtWorks with around 4 years of experience in building enterprise software systems in finance and retail domain. Experienced in design, development, and deployment of scalable software. He is a passionate blogger and loves to write about philosophy, programming, tech and relationships. This is his space, you can get in touch with him here anytime you want.