Does DISTANCE matter in Relationship


If there is true love then distance doesn’t matter, Love, honesty is all that matters in a relationship, Distance is nothing but space between… Well, it’s all bullshit and I’m sure many of you have heard the same dialogue many times before. Distant Relationships are very very hard to pursue and I have great respect for that couple who are doing it. It takes a lot of sleep knowing that you are not going to meet your partner/spouse for the next 2-3 months. It’s really hard to suppress all those emotions that once played a major role in your lives.

It is easier for a person whose relationship status is still single because it does not put unnecessary pressure on him. When you are in a distant relationship, you might find yourself in a situation where you will force feelings that might not be real. It sometimes becomes disastrous because you do not know what is happening in your partner’s life. Things which are happening in your life are often different from your partners. So, you never know what kind of mood your partner have and what type of feelings should be shown in order to make your partner feel comfortable. These situations can go either way depending on the way you pick it up for the first time. Knowing your partner’s state of mind is very important. You never know what he/she is facing in your absence.

 

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Another problem comes when he/she is expecting something from you and for some reason you fail to stand up to his/her expectation. This situation can become very dangerous and it is often the case of many breakups and headaches. It is pretty hard to guess your partner’s expectations without exactly knowing what is going in his/her life. Either it will be a lucky guess or unlucky and if it is unlucky then you must be ready to face the consequences. Women have been observed to have many expectations from their men. Men being a careless animal often overlook these expectations. As a result, both of them struggle to keep up with the pace and stumble.

 

The most common reasons for a fight in-between a distance couple is the lack of trust. Often times it is observed that people fail to keep their trust on their partners. They become so impatient that even a picture of their partner with some other person can make them uncomfortable. This marks the start of a very serious relationship where instead of getting happy with your partner’s happiness, you become sad. This is pretty natural. It is by the fact itself. This is India and most of the young people stupid here who don’t know the difference between a normal couple and a swinger couple.

You cannot see your partner’s happiness when he/she is with some other person. It slowly and steadily makes you irresistible from inside and one day you leave the relationship and move away. This is the reason why long distance relationships do not work most of the time.

 

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Distance relationship is a hard thing to do, even though it has some benefits like

 

  1. You get to know life better and what you really want in life.
  2. You are actually given the best time to decide if the person you are with is the one for you or you should move on with someone else.
  3. You get a chance to deal with the harsh world on your own which is the best thing to learn.
  4. You get your own free time to think and work for your dreams and career.
  5. ?You meet new people.

Some of the demerits of distance relationship

  1. You do not get to meet your partner.
  2. ?No more physical/sexual connection with your partner.
  3. ?You cannot tell him/her about how you feel and how you even look.
  4. ?You cannot enjoy things like going out to a dinner with your partner, enjoying a night out together, visiting a place of your choice and even eating together.

After facing issues in a distance relationship there always comes a choice. The choice which involves leaving the person and look for someone else who can fulfil your wishes OR to stay firm and try to make it work.?

If you are thinking of the former option then let me tell you one thing – “you are not in love”. Finding that one perfect person who does exactly the way you want things is like searching a unicorn. “You will never find one because it does not exist!“.

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Also leaving a person just because he/she is not able to fulfil your wishes/expectations is the most selfish thing in the world (as I have learned). Yes, you have a problem with your boyfriend/girlfriend who was with you but now has moved to a different city and has his own life and new friends. But leaving him/her is not going to change your expectations. This not going to clear the myth you are carrying my friend. Although if you have found someone that connects with you more, then politely let your partner know of the situation. Never cheat or hide anything because that is not going to bring any good for you.

Now for those who have opted for the second option – “Stay firm and try to make it Work with the partner no matter what”, then I must tell you one thing, YOU ARE DIFFERENT.

The decision to be or not to be in a distance relationship.?

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You need to make a firm decision first about being in a distance relationship. Once you have made it then there should be no backing out until and unless your partner asks for the breakup or there is some red-hand catching moment in your life. And obviously, this distance is not going to be for long my friends. We all are not that stupid to have a distance relationship that goes on for whole life. All those of you who are away from your partners must be away for some months or maybe a year or two. ?Don’t you all have that much patience to cope up with the mess for a?little while? If you don’t then “you do not love” and you don’t deserve the person you are with.

Once you have made the decision, then comes the challenges. Now there are different type of situations in a distance relationship or we can say-

Types of Distance Relationship

Never met before Relationships

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This is a distance relationship teenagers, desperate engineers, lonely girls or may be prankster can have. About 99% of such relationships are made on facebook. One of your college senior who is working in a big company tells you about how he feels about you and then you both get in a distance relationship :p. You meet your old friend from school online who is living in another city and then come in a relationship.

  1. One of your college senior who is working in a big company tells you about how he feels about you and then you both get in a distance relationship. You meet your old friend from school online who is living in another city and then come in a relationship.
  2. Even worse, you met a stranger online and now you are in a relationship with him.

I know a few people in my circle who calls this a relationship and they sound very serious and sincere when they talk about their partner. I really feel bad for these people because they never know what’s on the other side. The person on the other side of your screen could be a fraudster. It sometimes becomes very dangerous situations which you may watch in Saavdhan India.

Job- Job distance relationships

Now these are the most common distance relationships. You and your partner met in college, became friends and then came into a relationship. Your partner can be your current senior too. Now both of you have a good job but in different cities and you will have to live in a distance relationship. Both of you will meet new people, will make new friends, go out to see the city with your colleagues, have dinner. In this situation both of you are in the same phase of life at the same time and it is easy to understand each other well in situations of trust. There will be less insecurity as both of you are meeting new people and having an equality. Some of the defined loopholes could be-

  1. Your partner cheats on you or you cheat on your partner. One of you get a little more comfortable with the new person in life and then you do something you are not supposed to.
  2. You or your partner are bored from this relationship as you both cannot see each other after work or it is not fun anymore. You are having every fun in life but missing the “real fun” because of physical distance.
  3. You start to feel bounded. You cannot go out with someone because that will make your partner insecure. This thing makes you feel trapped.

Most of such distance relationships end up breaking because both the partners are living their life comfortably, with everything available to make them happy and satisfied. But having a partner who is away is a hurdle in their life.

Now if you are facing these situations then just break up and find someone else who is also working and lives in the same city.

Although if you really love him/her and want to be with the same person then just think this my friend. What the hell are you doing away from your love, you idiot? No one is a moron as you are if you are just living a distance in this condition for the sake of money, you got a job then go get another one in the city where you love is, simple douche-bags! ?Nothing will give you more satisfaction or happiness than living with your partner and getting to see him/her every day, take care of each other like real.

Job no job distance relationship

Your partner has moved to a different city after getting a job but you are still stuck in the same place with no job.

You see a picture of your partner with a girl who he has met just a few months ago and is now taking random clicks with her happily enjoying and roaming around with her. You will definitely get upset and this will make you feel even more bad about your situation. You will fight with your partner, you will cry like hell, not eat, think poor of yourself as for why you are being tortured this way and god knows what all negative you think in milliseconds during all this. Your partner fails to understand your situation as he/she is not going through the same except for being away from you. Also, this is not his/her fault that you are in such situation. He/she will definitely make new friends and will go out, you cannot tell your partner to stop having fun and stop being happy. But what you can tell him/her politely about the way you feel when he/she does something which really disturbs you and make it easy for him/her to understand your situation instead of fighting with him/her and accusing him of imaginary cheating.

Your partner will also do things he never did with you but is now enjoying it with his new friends. You on the other side is in a much worse condition, having no friends to hang out with and no one being comfortable to make you a new friend as a failed senior. This type of distance relationship can be very hard on your side if you are the left out one. Also, your partner will be annoyed by this behaviour of yours where you don’t trust him/her and with all the daily fights. ?I will advise you to keep calm and trust your partner to ?100%. You need to understand one basic thing that he/she is also missing you and needs you the same. Your partner is alone in the new city without family, friends and your whining will only make it hard for him/her.

If he/she is honest with you and shares every little detail of his/her life then you a real lucky person. Respect your partner’s honesty instead of being selfish and yelling like a dork. Work really focused on your career and try to make him/her happy as much as you can before the reunion.

You can also buy this to gift one of those couples who always fight.

 

Now some advice?to the partner who is having the job. Wait for your love and stop making him/her feel uncomfortable with all these new things in life. Your partner?is already going through a lot and wants to meet you as soon as possible. There are many dreams connected with you. Dreams that your partner is being lived from a long time. Do not crush those dreams just for your momentary pleasure. Don’t make it hard for your partner. It is time for you to prove yourself to your love.

Make your life easy.

After all, this, if you still think that you can have a better life but without your distance partner then it is time to move on from him/her. It will be good for both of you. You both will be able to get away with your life without anyone holding you. If you are not happy in a distance relationship, it is time to fill the void in your life.

Buy this awesome camera to stay connected with your loved ones.

At last, I want you to know that a relationship is between two people with equal responsibilities, equal love and equal everything. Understanding, loyalty, little efforts and willingness to be together in any condition are very important for both sides. Distance does make a difference. Distance is the ultimate test of love. Distance tells us who we really want and if the person with whom we are connected is the one or not. If you are passionate about your love then everything will be as easy as breathing and you both will reunite soon. Trust me this distance, these difficult situations and all this struggle totally worth, only if you are in love with each other. The day when you both will reunite, that day will be the most magical and happy day of your life. It will be an achievement for you. A success after all the hurdles. So have patience, support each other, help each other and pull the rope closer every day till you both become one again. Just keep it simple.

Also, read secrets of a good relationship

And as always
Be My Aficionado 🙂


  • Article By: Varun Shrivastava

  • Varun Shrivastava is an innovative full stack web developer. He is a passionate blogger and loves to write about philosophy, programming, tech and relationships. He works as a Software Developer. This is his den, you can get in touch with him here anytime you want.
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